How to completely FuckUp

your customer reviews vol 1

Who is the most important person in a restaurant? Is it the restaurateur? The chef? The waiter; Maybe our supplier?

If for some reason you chose one of the above then you may need to redefine your goals for the business you have set up. Obviously you have created a business in which the CUSTOMER means nothing. Unfortunately (or fortunately) your customer pays your suppliers, your chef, your waiters and of course…YOU!

TripAdvisor reviews and reviews in general have been (and always are) the main topic of discussion in many restaurants and hotels. Personally, these reviews leave me indifferent until the end of the week, as I like to devote energy to making the customer happy when we provide lunch or dinner. But there comes a time, when at the end of the week, I read the reviews and comments to see what goes wrong.


So, did a customer complain to TripAdvisor and everyone sees his bad review! Both new wana-visit customers but also your old customers?! Oh no, we must take things into our hands. Put in all of your passion and talent and let’s take revenge of this “bastard” that dared to utter his complaint.

Failure strategy 1: Delegate your customer !!!

The customer, who gets into the process of making a bad review, does not do so because you did not offer what you were advertising. He does it because he is a bad person (i believe the modern term is Karen) and wants to find flaws in order to rub it in ……

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So, you can publicly, demote your client …… ..we do not care that this one has more than 150 contributions to TripAdvisor. Nor that he has made our life easy for us and took pictures to show what bothered him. It is important for other customers to see that we are right and the customer is wrong.

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Failure  strategy 2: Reprimand the rude customer !!!!

How rude of your customer, wanting to be served when you have set your store to open. The whole situation is reminiscent of a sketch from a well known Greek series called “AMAN”. Our restaurant is open from 13:00 to 01:00 but only for customers who booked previously… ..

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Not only did we have to serve you, proposing you to sit indoors during summer !!!! You also had the nerve to ask to sit in the yard !!!! While others close days before in order to have such a privilege !!!! Shame on you !!!!

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Failure Strategy 3: Copy Paste 

For us all customers are the same, and we fulfil their requests in the exact same way. Even though their complaints are different, our answer is the same. We do not have time for this….

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Strategy 4 (and last for today): Simple indifference

What if our customers complain? Even, if they just suggest the store they have to, they have an obligation after all. Therefore, remove the words “thank you” and “sorry” from your vocabulary and do what you already know very well… ..

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